Thursday 10 February 2011

When should TV programmes stop flogging a dead horse?

While we wait for me and my great big brain to finish sorting out Clean, vivid and interesting and Elvis Alive, I thought we could keep ourselves usefully ticking over with a quick look at the points I am planning to make at the other panel session I have now been roped into joining at the Redemption 2011 convention in Coventry.

All produced in the space of half an hour, with the aid of my trusty black biro and a mug of coffee:
      
1.)  One title – Last Of The Summer Wine
2.)  When the entire original cast of canon characters has been completely replaced with clones twice over (see the above for further details)
3.)  When it is broadcast more than twice a week (soaps!  The news is more random.  Plus the cast and location keep changing.)
4.)  When it keeps playing ‘me too!’ with its rivals and competitors (hence if one soap shoves the matriarch in prison on trumped up charges, all the rest do the same about one week later)
5.)  When it starts spending a lot of time spoofing other programmes/films/musicals etc (The Simpsons)
6.)  When it starts repeating basic plot tropes over and over again (Commander Travis using women to lure Roj Blake into a trap in B7 …  Tough!)
7.)  When the main reason for tuning in is to see who the guest of the week will turn out to be
8.)  When the viewer’s first response is: “Bloody hell – is it STILL going?”
9.)  When TV executive gibbons love it so much that they keep commissioning further series (Midsommer Murders – warning: do NOT become a cornerstone of the viewing schedules)
10.)                 When the raison d’etre of the entire series becomes worn out and preposterous through too much exposure (the murder rate in Midsommer Murders would provoke questions in Parliament)
11.)                 When shocking incidents lose all their dramatic impact through over-use (Servalan keeping murdering people who got in her way in B7.  Tough knackers 2)
12.)                 When TV executive gibbons think an expensive overhaul of the set and costumes will detract attention from the acting/script/direction
13.)                 When the TV executive gibbons are convinced that the best way to revamp a show and pull in more viewers is to make it just like a soap, even though it belongs to a totally different genre (The Bill)
14.)                 When incidents that are totally ridiculous within the world of the series not only occur, but are treated in a dramatically unconvincing manner (Sun Hill police station getting blown up in The Bill and it not being a national headline news story)
15.)                 When there are no new challenges left to stretch and tax the actors/writers/directors/crew (Most Haunted)

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