Can't believe that there are people out there who earn a bloody good living retailing cobblers like this, so I just HAD to share it with you!
According to these
people who claim to channel messages from alleged extra-terrestrial entities, ‘Shan’
is the name that some of the aliens give to the Earth (ie that planet that we
live on, to quote Leela from Futurama).
Shan/Earth has got
such a bad reputation that spaceships from other worlds are said to have come
here in their droves, not just to protect the rest of the universe from our
nefarious influence, but also to defeat the powers of Satan himself, while
doing the best they can manage to reform us.
In other words, life on Earth is Borstal on roller-skates.
Happily Shan made
enough progress during the first half of the 20th century to have
been permitted to move from the third dimension to the fourth. Now, do please feel free to correct me if I’m
wrong, but I thought we already lived in both the third and fourth
dimensions? After all, modern physics
defines width as the third dimension and time as the fourth – both of which
have been pretty integral parts of our universe, at least ever since I’ve been
here on this current go-round.
And who exactly
decided that we could move up, anyway? Obviously not the Home Secretary or an
astro-physicist.
Anyway, starting on
17 August 1987, the Earth was led (precisely how I don’t know, so please don’t ask
me. I am not one of those privileged to
have a direct line to the rulers of the cosmos) no less than 13 million light
years into an orbit closer to the Great Central Sun (of where? The universe?
How do they know that the universe has a centre and where it is? We should be told!).
Ah, sorry, hang on a
second. It says here (Extraordinary Encounters by Jerome Clark) that ‘millions’ of
starships used ‘powerful magnetic beams’ to transfer Shan to another solar
system in the Pleiades. The process was
completed on 15 December 1995. The Earth
is now the fourth planet in the orbit of the star Coeleno.
So how come nobody down
here noticed anything funny going on?
Now this is where this blue-sky concept gets really clever.
The
extra-terrestrials felt that we might find such a radical change of habitat a
bit disturbing and bad for the nerves, so they went to great lengths to conceal their operation. The sky around us has been specially arranged
to look just the way it did before the move.
All the old stars and planets have been cunningly replaced by an
enormous fleet of starships, hovering in just the right configurations.
A few very observant
humans have, however, noticed that though the sun is now emitting more intense
light, it still looks smaller than it did before. This is because Shan is seven million miles
further away from Coeleno than it was from Sol.
Of course, this also means that our new moon is brighter than the old
one.
Before we get moved
up into the fourth dimension, all the usual type of devastating cataclysms will
sweep across the globe, cleansing the planet of undesirable influences,
including Satan and his minions. Despite
being the undisputed evil overlord of creation, the Devil is still thick enough
not to notice that the Earth has been moved by the space-men!
So, we’ve got a lot
to look forward to this December.
