How Sings The Gay Sardine?

Here's a bit of a conundrum for you.

American medium Sylvia Browne claims that not a single work in world literature has ever been created by writers in this world, nor are our scientists the ones responsible for devising any of their prize-winning theories over the centuries.  Her spirit guide Francine says this is because people on the other side (aka 'Home') knock up all the novels, plays, films, symphonies and theories in their spare moments in between travelling round Atlantis by atomic-powered hovering golf carts, watching Michael Jackson concerts at the ghostly version of the Hollywod Bowl and preparing for their next incarnations.  Then they infuse them to the creatives over here whilst we are all sleeping.

Apparently Bette Davis has a mate called Keller or Kellogg who is down to become a great playwright during his (her?) fast approaching new incarnation, starting in north Oregon during 2014.  Keller/Kellogg is going to be writing a classic trilogy called 'Houses Of Glass'.

Okay, a century is a bloody long time and we do need replacements for figures like Arthur Miller and Harold Pinter.  'Houses Of Glass' even sounds a plausible topic for a literary classic or three.

Problem is, Keller/Kellogg has already been hard at work on the trilogy long before this upcoming incarnation even starts - and Bette has been helping him/her.

If there is any truth in what Francine claims, then who the hell is going to be the actual author of 'Houses Of Glass'?  Keller/Kellogg?  Bette Davis?  Both?

And when exactly will these three plays get written? 

Presumably if Keller/Kellogg does get born in north Oregon during 2014 and grows up to become a playwright, then like me he/she will be expecting to spend quite a bit of time sitting alone at a computer, slurping down gallons of coffee whilst peering anxiously at the screen thinking: "Oh shit!  My brain's gone blank!", before spending the next three hours playing Solitaire, checking their e-mails and reading weird junk like 'The Floating Island Of Madness'.

Then, when he/she jolts awake at three o'clock in the morning and rushes for a piece of paper and a pen, he/she will not unnaturally assume that it is their own subconscious that has finally get up off its arse and knuckled down to a bit of work for a change.

It will be Keller/Kellogg who types it all up on the computer and sends it off to playwriting competitions and literary agents, not Bette Davis.  It will be Keller/Kellogg who appears on the television accepting awards and on Radio 4 discussing his/her sources of inspiration.

Yet when Albert Einstein passed over, Francine describes how his mentor Isaac Newton came to meet him and congratulate him for all 'his' incredible achievements such as the General Theory of Relativity.

Perhaps I need to tear my own personal scriptwriting team away from the David Garrick/Laurence Olivier marathon season at the Lemurian version of the Old Vic and ask them to get on with finishing the second draft of 'Elvis Alive' in time for the fast approaching deadline.